Hope Reflected

Encouragement and Hope from God's Word

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Thursday

20

June 2024

A true friend

Written by , Posted in Christian Living, Published Work

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." (Proverbs 27:6) | What are the qualities of a true friend? Learn more on hopereflected.com

In addition to death and taxes, something we all have in common is that at some point or another, we have been wounded by someone who we called a friend.

Many of us are also guilty of doing the wounding.

It is so common an occurrence that Solomon wrote in Proverbs 26:24-26, “He that hateth dissembleth with his lips, and layeth up deceit within him; When he speaketh fair, believe him not: for there are seven abominations in his heart. Whose hatred is covered by deceit, his wickedness shall be shewed before the whole congregation.”

False friends or counterfeit kindness; whatever you want to call it, the world is filled with people who will say one thing to your face and then another behind your back; people who will woo you in order to get something from you.

It’s sad, but it’s true.

The Bible provides us with examples from Joab to Judas, and yet, we’re surprised when we find ourselves deceived and hurt by someone else.

So what are some of the hallmarks of a true friend?

Qualities of a true friend

One characteristic of a true friend is that they are faithful, not flatterers. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” (Proverbs 27:6) Better a friend who reproves our wrongs than one who doesn’t have our best interest at heart.

Judas in the Garden betrayed Jesus with a kiss, and Solomon himself warned that we ought to exercise caution when it comes to flattery. “When he speaketh fair, believe him not” (v. 25).

This doesn’t mean that we should question every time a friend pays a compliment or demonstrates kindness, but it does mean that we need to apply wisdom in who we trust. Someone who uses flattery is typically someone who will use you.

Flattery is disingenuous and to the discerning mind it should be easy to see it for what it is. David wrote that the throat of those who flatter “is an open grave” (Psalm 5:9), and Paul wrote that those who are deceived by flattery are “simple” (Romans 16:18).

Another quality of a true friend? They have control of their emotions and do not let their emotions control them. The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked (Jer. 19:7), but those “seven abominations” (v. 25) as Solomon referred to them should not control the Christian’s actions. A true friend will not bolster you up in an attempt to bring you down, nor will they bring you down in order to build up themselves. Careful are the reproofs of those who truly care for us.

Proverbs 17:17 says that a friend loves “at all times”—not just when they want something, and not just when the going is good. True friends are consistent, whereas those who attempt to deceive others through flattery and false motives will eventually be exposed. “Whose hatred is covered by deceit, his wickedness shall be shewed before the whole congregation.” (v. 26).

Originally published as “A true friend.” Independent Plus. October 13, 2022: 5. Print. Web.

Thursday

4

November 2021

Countenance Sharpeners

Written by , Posted in Christian Living, Published Work

"And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:" Hebrews 10:24 | Read more of Coutenance Sharpeners on hopereflected.com

The victor’s material

In Biblical times, iron was the victor’s material for weapons of war. We read in Judges that Judah could not defeat the Philistines of the valley “because they had chariots of iron.” (1:19). Before the days of steel, iron was popular for the making of swords and other weapons, because it was stronger and could be sharpened better than other prominent metals of the time period.

"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." Proverbs 27:17 | Read more on hopereflected.com

Sharpening is important

In woodworking, a dull blade can ruin a good piece of wood. In the kitchen, an unsharpened knife can cause serious injury to the person using it. King Solomon wrote in Proverbs 27:17 that as “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” Good friends help to keep each other sharp. You know the feeling when you finish a conversation with a good friend, and you feel better, lighter, and refreshed? That is the countenance sharpening that Solomon referred to. True friends help to refine, encourage us to grow in wisdom, and point us to the Lord. “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:” (Hebrews 10:24). True friends prepare us for action.

Realignment and straightening

Many people have a knife set in their kitchen. A standard knife set usually includes an unusual-looking column of steel or ceramic. This tool is called a honing rod. Contrary to popular belief, a honing rod doesn’t actually sharpen knives. A honing rod is used to realign and straighten knife blades that have become blunt or curled. Beyond countenance sharpening, a good friend offers correction when we’re going astray. Paul wrote in 2 Timothy 4:2 that in addition to exhorting one another, we are to reprove and rebuke when necessary. Jesus Himself said that when a brother sins against us, we’re to “go and tell him his fault,” (Matthew 18:15). As much as we all need sharpening, we also need to be realigned and straightened out once in a while, too!

"True friends help to keep each other sharp. They help to refine, to encourage, and to grow." | Read more of Countenance Sharpeners on hopereflected.com

True friends point one another to Christ

Some commentaries suggest that to “sharpen” in Proverbs 27:17 is to antagonize or exasperate. A true friend doesn’t provoke; a true friend promotes others to be better people and most importantly points their friends toward Christ. Anything contrary to this is not friendship.

C.S. Lewis wrote in his book The Four Loves that, “In friendship… we think we have chosen our peers…for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, ‘Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,’ can truly say to every group of Christian friends, ‘Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.’ Friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to us the beauties of others.” The opposite of sharp is to be dull, blunt, or blurred. We’ve all had occasions where we’ve felt less than our best. In such times, it is prayer answered to have a friend come alongside to sharpen our countenance.

“It is prayer answered to have a friend come alongside to sharpen our countenance.”

Hope Reflected

Originally published as “Countenance sharpeners.” Independent Plus. June 10, 2021: 5. Print. Web.