Hope Reflected

Encouragement and Hope from God's Word

how to live with love Archive

Thursday

2

March 2023

Love is a verb, part 3

Written by , Posted in Christian Living, Published Work

Charity never faileth: (1 Corinthians 13:8) | Read more of Love is a Verb part 3 on hopereflected.com

What love does and does not do

In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul wrote about the characteristics of love. He explained what love does and does not do, and what love is and isn’t. Called “charity” in the original translation, Paul explained in verse 6 that “charity… Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;”. Here we see a very clear example of what love does not do. Real love does not take pleasure in the pain of others.

What immediately comes to mind is Proverbs 24:17, which tells us, “Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, And let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth:”. The exact opposite of rejoicing, love grieves when it sees harm come to its object. Matthew Henry said, “It is the very height of malice to take pleasure in the misery of a fellow-creature. And is not falling into sin the greatest calamity that can befall one? How inconsistent is it with Christian charity, to rejoice at such a fall!”

Love rejoices in the truth

On the contrary, love “…rejoiceth in the truth;” (1 Corinthians 13:6). There is great joy in the truth. Here, the truth specifically refers to God’s Word and His way. Jesus said that “narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” (Matthew 7:14), so what greater joy than to be walking in the truth and to see others walking along the narrow way as well. God is love, and we are only capable of love because of Him, so it makes sense then that the greatest rejoicing comes when we are walking with Him.

Love bears, believes, hopes, endures all things

Paul’s description of love in 1 Corinthians continues, “charity… Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” (v. 7). A companion to the long-suffering we read of in verse 4, love bears all things. The greatest example of patience, love carries on and is unceasing regardless of the circumstances. One of the reasons marriages are failing and society is disintegrating is that we are looking in all the wrong places for love, instead of looking to God first.

Without God, we are destined to fail, especially in love. Alistair Begg wrote, “Contrary to public opinion, the key to loving others does not lie in loving ourselves, but in loving God.” Spurgeon put it like this: “Love does not ask to have an easy life of it: Self-love makes that her aim. Love denies herself, sacrifices herself, that she may win victories for God, and hers shall be no tinsel crown.”

“Love does not ask to have an easy life of it:
Self-love makes that her aim.
Love denies herself, sacrifices herself, that she may win victories for God,
and hers shall be no tinsel crown.”

Charles Spurgeon

Love never fails; God never fails

God never fails. Read more of Love is a Verb part 3 on hopereflected.com

The only way to bear all is when we cast our cares on Him. The only way to believe all is when our faith rests in Him. The only way to hope all is we know the Living Hope. The only way to endure all is through the power of the Holy Spirit.

The last of the 16 characteristics of love is “Charity never faileth:” (v. 8). Everything else will fail but love never fails. God never fails. As Spurgeon said, “God writes with a pen that never blots, speaks with a tongue that never slips, acts with a hand that never fails.”

Read parts 1 and 2 of Love is a verb here

Originally published as “Love is a verb, part 3.” Independent Plus. March 2, 2023: 5. Print. Web.

Wednesday

15

February 2023

Love is a verb, part 2

Written by , Posted in Christian Living, Published Work

Facts about love. Read more on hopereflected.com

This past week I read in 1 John 3:22-23, “And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight. And this is his commandment, that we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment.”

Love is an action word

As I wrote in part 1 of Love is a verb, love is an action word; it is very much something that we do. Studying the characteristics of “charity” (love) described in 1 Corinthians 13, it’s important to note that love is a commandment from God.

Love is not rude

Love is not rude. "Charity doth not behave itself unseemly." (1 Corinthians 13:5) Read more on hopereflected.com

“Charity… Doth not behave itself unseemly,” (1 Corinthians 13:5). This portion is translated from the Greek ouk aschemonei and literally means to behave in an unbecoming manner. In other words, love doesn’t act in a manner that is unbecoming or contrary to itself. Love is not rude, and love doesn’t degrade or humiliate others.

Matthew Henry wrote of this characteristic of love: “It does nothing out of place or time; but behaves towards all men as becomes their rank and ours, with reverence and respect to superiors, with kindness and condescension to inferiors, with courtesy and good-will towards all men. It is not for breaking order, confounding ranks bringing all men on a level; but for keeping up the distinction God has made between men, and acting decently in its own station, and minding its own business, without taking upon it to mend, or censure, or despise, the conduct of others. Charity will do nothing that misbecomes it.”

Love is not selfish

Love is not selfish. "Charity seeketh not her own." (1 Corinthians 13:5) Read more on hopereflected.com

“Charity… seeketh not her own,” (1 Corinthians 13:5). One of the marks of love is that it doesn’t demand its own way or seek its own benefit. Love is not selfish, as Matthew Henry suggested love is an utter enemy to selfishness. Just as love does not dishonour, love also seeks to honour others above itself. This recalls the second commandment, “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” (Matthew 22:39).

Love requires that we uproot that rotten plant pride, and instead of putting ourselves at the center, we look out for others. The J-O-Y principle: Jesus first, Others second, Yourself third.

Love is not easily angered

Love is not easily angered. "Charity is not easily provoked." (1 Corinthians 13:5) Read more on hopereflected.com

“Charity… is not easily provoked,” (1 Corinthians 13:5). From the Greek ou paroxynetai, meaning “is not exasperated”. Soft rather than sharp, love keeps a quick temper at bay. Two fires can’t burn together, so where love is aflame, a fiery temper won’t burn.

Love keeps no record of wrongs

Love keeps no record of wrongs. "Charity thinketh no evil." (1 Corinthians 13:5) Read more on hopereflected.com

“Charity… thinketh no evil;” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Love keeps no record of being wrong. Just as love is an enemy to selfishness, love is also an enemy of dishonesty, of jealousy, and of revenge. To show love, we must practice honesty instead of dishonesty, admiration rather than jealousy, and forgiveness rather than revenge. Real love, it turns out, is not always easy to practice.

As C.S. Lewis wrote, “…love as distinct from ‘being in love’ is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will, and deliberately strengthened by habit, reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God.”

Originally published as “Love is a verb, part 2.” Independent Plus. February 16, 2023: 5. Print. Web.

Tuesday

14

February 2023

Love is a verb

Written by , Posted in Christian Living, Published Work

Love and pride cannot live together, because love is not about you and how you feel; love is concerned with how the other person feels. Read more of "Love is a verb" on hopereflected.com

The true measure of love is shown through action

Anyone can say the words, “I love you,” but the true measure of love is shown through action. Love is a verb. For those who are not well-versed in grammar, a verb is a word that shows action.

When we describe love as merely a feeling, we are reducing what love really is. We’re missing the deeper meaning. While feeling is certainly a part of love, action is love’s other—more demonstrable—counterpart.

Characteristics of love from 1 Corinthians 13

Take chapter 13 of 1 Corinthians, for example. If Paul had written this chapter by describing the feeling of love, rather than the action of love, how much different would “the love chapter” read? The abstract tends not to have the same impact as the concrete, and I’d venture to say the impact just wouldn’t be as strong.

Paul’s description of love in 1 Corinthians 13 includes 16 characteristics of charity, or what we today call love. In the original Greek, the word was agape, used to describe love, benevolence, preference. The 16 characteristics of love that Paul described are as follows: “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth:” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

Love suffers long

The Greek word for “suffereth long” is makrothymei, meaning to persevere, be patient, and refusing to retaliate with anger. The best example of this is Christ. Peter described our Lord that he “is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9).

In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis called such long-suffering God “holding back” to give us the opportunity to choose Him. And while our ability to love can never compare to God’s, that is one of the things that true love does. Love holds back and does not retaliate even when it’s been wronged. Someone cannot love and be vengeful at the same time.

Love is not puffed up

Another characteristic of love that stands out is that love “vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,” (v. 4). Love and pride cannot live together, because love is not about you and how you feel; when you love someone, you’re concerned with how the other person feels. It’s what Paul wrote in Philippians 2:3-4, that in lowliness of mind we should esteem others better than ourselves. Matthew Henry explained that true love will “prevent the tumours of self-conceit and arrogance. These ill qualities can never grow out of tender affection…” and we should mark the man who uses what he calls love as a platform to build himself up and to tear others down.

Originally published as “Love is a verb.” Independent Plus. February 9, 2023: 5. Print. Web.

Monday

8

February 2016

Hope Reflected: The Link Between Gratitude and Love

Written by , Posted in Christian Living, Published Work, Uncategorized

In normal life we hardly realize how much more we receive than we give, and life cannot be rich without such gratitude. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

About this time last year, I wrote a column on the importance of practicing an attitude of gratitude. While it’s pretty easy to understand that thanksgiving and gratitude go hand in hand, all this talk of gratitude and expressing thanks has got me thinking – how closely linked are gratitude and love?

You know how when you’re thankful for a person or object, you express gratitude? Gratitude is a way of placing value on someone or something. This is similar to what you do when you love: You place value on whatever happens to be the object of your love.

I’m a huge believer that having an attitude of gratitude helps a person to be more joyful (if you don’t believe me, try it)! And, I’m also convinced that the more we learn to show our gratitude for the people and things around us; the more we open ourselves up to love.

Here are three tips if you’re looking to live with more love in your life:

  1. Keep a gratitude list. Or a journal, or a prayer book. Whatever you call your version, don’t forget to make notes on the people and things for which you’re thankful. It doesn’t have to be every day, but at least once a week make a gratitude note. It can be as simple as “I woke up this morning” (because let’s be honest, the gift of life each day and the ability to get out of bed is something we all take for granted).
  2. Pay it forward. Doesn’t have to be anything super-elaborate – even the simple act of buying coffee for the girl or guy behind you in the drive-thru lineup can make someone’s day! Send flowers to a friend or significant other on a day chosen at random (i.e., not their birthday, your anniversary, and not Valentine’s Day). Hand write a note of thanks to someone who’s recently impacted your life for the better.
  3. Take time to give thanks. This is a very difficult thing for many people, myself included. There is something so wonderful about taking time to just be. Having time to yourself, or time reserved for loved ones is an amazing, easy way to see and soak up life’s little blessings. Too often we get caught up in the fast-paced world around us, but I find for myself, it’s those moments – where I’m holding the hand of someone I love instead of my phone, making eye contact with my family and friends rather than staring at a cold computer screen, or putting my feet up and reading a book rather than running around doing work – when I slow down, that I actually have time to think. And when I think, I can’t help but be amazed at all of the blessings in my life. Might take some brain training, to focus on the positive instead of the next item on your to-do list, but trust me, it can be done.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that above items are all directly related to gratitude. Really, I don’t think we can properly love without sharing our gratitude.  Both virtues live in our hearts and it’s up to us to express them. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, “In normal life we hardly realize how much more we receive than we give, and life cannot be rich without such gratitude.”

 

Originally published as “The Link Between Love and Gratitude”. Minto Express. February 11 2015: 5. Print.