Hope Reflected

Encouragement and Hope from God's Word

power of the tongue Archive

Friday

29

September 2023

What are you getting at?

Written by , Posted in Christian Living, Published Work

Verses from the book of Proverbs about thinking before we speak

Verses from Proverbs about thinking before you speak. Read more on hopereflected.com

Getting the last word

Proverbs 4:7 tells us that “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.”

It seems in life that we use all our getting for things other than wisdom and understanding.

In conversation, we’re more eager about getting the last word in than we are actually listening to what others have to say. We get caught up in getting everything off our chests and venting instead of waiting to react and respond. We’re taken up with getting, but sometimes what we’re getting isn’t good for us, and makes us into fools instead of wise people.  

Responding without listening

We’re all guilty of it; in the middle of a conversation, instead of actively listening, we tend to formulate our next statement.

Proverbs 14:3 says that “In the mouth of the foolish is a rod of pride: but the lips of the wise shall preserve them.”

When we respond without listening, we are being foolish. Matthew Henry wrote that “Where there is pride in the heart, and no wisdom in the head to suppress it, it commonly shows itself in the words…”. Someone once said that the problem with closed-minded people is that their mouths are always open. People who are closed-minded are often that way because they’re more interested in the sound of their own voice than they are in listening to what others have to say.

Getting everything off your chest

As Proverbs 18:2 tells us, “A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself.” Wise people want to understand, and so they think before they speak. They’re more interested in getting understanding than they are getting the last word.

While a fool is more interested in getting everything off his chest, a wise person understands the value in purposefully processing before speaking. Wise people think before they speak. “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” (Proverbs 29:11).

Holding your peace

At one time or another, we’ve all been reminded to “sleep on it” or to “take a breath” before responding to a rude comment, a terse work email, or a backwards compliment. Sometimes, a fresh perspective helps us see that perhaps no response is best. Careful consideration in a conversation can save us from saying something we’ll regret.

I believe it was Mark Twain who wrote that “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt.” In Proverbs 17:28 we read that “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.”

Getting understanding > getting your point across

This is not to suggest that we should go around quietly and never speak up and speak out, however we ought to know when to speak and when to hold our tongues. While getting everything off our chests may be tempting, there is a time and place to speak and to be silent.

When it comes to our words, we should be more interested in getting understanding than getting our point across.

Originally published as “What are you getting at?” Independent Plus. July 14, 2022: 5. Print. Web.

Friday

24

March 2017

Hope Reflected | The power of the tongue

Written by , Posted in Christian Living, Published Work

power of the tongue james 3:8

The power of the tongue

One thing that we all have in common is that at some point or another, each one of us, – inevitably, – is going to say something we don’t mean. You may make a comment in the middle of an argument, or maybe it will be something you say behind someone’s back, or perhaps you’ll speak words to someone that just don’t come out right. Or, as Wes experienced this past week, you may say something about a complete stranger that you instantly regret. The tongue. At some point in each one of our lives, our tongues are going to hurt someone else and cause us trouble.

The problem with the tongue is that once you say something, you can’t take it back. James 3:5 tells us, “Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!” We all need to learn how to guard our tongues and watch our mouths.

There’s the old saying that goes, “God gave us mouths that close and ears that don’t so that should tell us something.” It’s so true, isn’t it? How often we speak words in haste when really we should be just as quick to listen. I write that quickly, like it’s no big deal and easy to do, when the reality is more often than not quite different. I struggle at least a couple of times a day to listen when everything in me wants to interrupt. It’s like, sometimes when someone else is speaking and telling me something, the time I should be spending listening to them, I’m actually formulating my response to them in my head. That’s not right. We are called to be “quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” (James 1:19) Don’t underestimate the power of the tongue.

  1. Once you say it, you can’t take it back. “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health.” (Proverbs 12:18) Like the toothpaste leaving the tube analogy, once you speak words, you can’t “un-speak” them. That’s why it’s so important to consider our words before saying them aloud.
  2. Actions speak louder than words. “Let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” (1 John 3:18) There’s the saying that goes, “You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.” The way you live is just – or more – important than the words you speak. There is no such thing as a part-time Christian. Living a life that is pleasing to God happens every day of the week, every where, – whether you’re in the barn or in the office, – authentic Christian living does not just happen on Sundays while you’re in church.
  3. Take a step back; give it some time. “He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction.” (Proverbs 13:3) If you’re anything like me, sometimes you just need to take a step back before you react. I’ve learned the hard way – and learned several times, actually – that in the heat of the moment is the wrong time to hit the ‘send’ button on that reactive email or to say something out of spite. Usually, the best practice is just to sleep on it. Give yourself some time to cool off before you answer anyone in a heated tone. “Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace.” (Proverbs 17:28)
  4. It’s never too late to apologize and ask forgiveness. “’Yet even now,’ declares the LORD, ‘Return to Me with all your heart.” (Joel 2:12) In earthly terms, words can be forgiven but not forgotten. But God, when we truly repent, He forgives and God has the ability to wash our slate clean and make us white as snow. If we’re truly reflecting a life lived for Him, we’ll seek forgiveness to those we’ve wronged through our words (and our actions). It’s never too late to seek forgiveness, and you might be surprised how well received a sincere apology will be.

Proverbs 18:21 reminds us that “death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” James 3:7-8 shares that “For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue.” It may be small, but the tongue is a mighty weapon. May each of our words speak love and truth.

 

Originally published as “The power of the tongue.” Minto Express, Independent Plus, Arthur Enterprise-News, Mount Forest Confederate. March 9, 2017: 8. Print.